We have lots of big animals in Africa, like lions, giraffes, hippos, etc. Well I have discovered a new tourist attraction in my very home: a man-eating spider was waiting above my front door when I came home tonight. As you may recall, this isn’t the first time I’ve had such an encounter… As I type the spider is staring at me, licking its lips, and I’m staring at the broom I’m going to use to whack the hell out of it.

I don’t usually kill them, but I just can’t take any chances with this one. I’m already freaked out when I enter a room and turn the light on, open a closet, put on a sweatshirt, slip into bed, or mess with the curtains. If it’s not a spider it’s a lizard, and if it’s not a lizard it’s a wasp; one time I even had a bat flying around inside the house when I got home at night. Oh, and don’t forget the dogs that run after me when I’m riding home after dark!

I can’t remember where they said the “Final Frontier” was, but Africa’s pretty frontiery… if you know what I mean. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shake all my clothes, move everything away from the walls, and change my bed sheets. Africa is not for the faint of heart!