Hujambo!

I’m in the market for a new TV show. I have been watching Arrested Development for the past eight months and I’m starting to get sick of it. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve watched all three seasons in order at least twice (not to mention two or three times in America), and now I just pick a random episode from a random season when I want to “watch TV.” I like Arrested Development because it manages to be intelligent and hilarious at the same time. I want you people to suggest a new TV show for me to watch.

Here’s the criteria:

• Must have at least three seasons (what good is a one-season TV show?)
• No reality shows (Survivor, Dancing with stars, etc)
• No CSI, sorry!

I don’t know much about TV shows current or past, but for some reason I think Gilmore Girls must be a good show, though I can’t say I’ve seen more than two episodes. Can anyone help me out?

In other news, I found a huge, hairy spider in my hallway today. My camera bit the dust so I don’t have a picture for you. I don’t know if we have tarantulas here, but this thing was so big and hairy that it gives me the willies just thinking about it, do you have a mental picture now?! I’ve dealt with several other spiders, a snake, and a scorpion, but this was just too much. I called the sisters in the convent and they sent their cook, Johnson, over to help me out. I’ve never seen such a nonchalant act of violence as the way this man stepped on this spider. Thanks, Johnson!

Update (9 pm): Merely one hour after the spider incident I found a huge snake ON TOP OF MY REFRIGERATOR. Johnson has gone home and I can’t just whack this snake like a spider. I may not survive this night. It was nice knowing all of you.

Update (10 pm): Chased the snake out of the house only to enter the kitchen some minutes later to find a rather large scorpion. Squished.

Update (next day, 4 pm): Dropped by the house on my way to the market and found the snake in the living room. The snake is now outside of the living room but missing its head.

By now most of you know that I run a small animal shelter out of my house here in Kenya (I guess I am following in my friend Marg’s footsteps). I made a fun little discovery in my house last night. “Fun” being that it was a scorpion. “Little” being that it was hardly an inch long. My camera is completely worthless these days so all I have is this terrible picture. I poked him and he definitely tried to sting my toothbrush with his tail. Who knows what other tiny monsters are lurking around my house… ahhh!!!

I thought I saw something the other night (I even tried to poke it), but now I’m sure… there’s a snake living in and or above the front door of my house. When I saw it a few nights ago it was high above my door in some little crevice in the bricks of my house. I know it’s a small little thing, but maybe it was hunting that huge, furry spider from earlier this week. I know you guys wouldn’t believe me unless I had hard evidence, so I snapped a quick photo.

I never knew snakes could climb on vertical rock walls and, unless it’s a snake/lizard hybrid, I am actually stumped as to how it got there. On a related note, I had a large stick insect on my curtain tonight as well. I don’t know what’s with the influx of creepy, crawly, slithery things lately, but maybe my prayer flags are just doing their thing. I’ll have you know that, other than shooing the spider and poking the snake, none of these critters have been harmed.

Peace!

We have lots of big animals in Africa, like lions, giraffes, hippos, etc. Well I have discovered a new tourist attraction in my very home: a man-eating spider was waiting above my front door when I came home tonight. As you may recall, this isn’t the first time I’ve had such an encounter… As I type the spider is staring at me, licking its lips, and I’m staring at the broom I’m going to use to whack the hell out of it.

I don’t usually kill them, but I just can’t take any chances with this one. I’m already freaked out when I enter a room and turn the light on, open a closet, put on a sweatshirt, slip into bed, or mess with the curtains. If it’s not a spider it’s a lizard, and if it’s not a lizard it’s a wasp; one time I even had a bat flying around inside the house when I got home at night. Oh, and don’t forget the dogs that run after me when I’m riding home after dark!

I can’t remember where they said the “Final Frontier” was, but Africa’s pretty frontiery… if you know what I mean. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shake all my clothes, move everything away from the walls, and change my bed sheets. Africa is not for the faint of heart!

Does this scare you?

Look again…
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