Hujambo!

Kenyans drink a lot of Coca Cola. You can get Pepsi in the fancier stores if you really want it, but I don’t think many Kenyans have ever tried it, haha. I was never a really big soda drinker, but there’s something about having a cold Coke with Mama Oliech’s fried tilapia and ugali! What I didn’t realize until recently was that Kenyan Coke is much like Mexican Coke.

A few weeks ago, while I was in San Diego, I was talking to some buddies about how, in Portland, Oregon, it’s common to see “Mexican” Coke on restaurant menus. One buddy commented that he didn’t like Coke, that it tastes funny. Thinking that I sometimes drink Coke and enjoy it, I said I never noticed that it tasted too sweet or anything. That’s when I realized, that any Coke I have drank in the last few years would have been a Kenyan Coke!

You see, American Coca Cola is sweetened with a syrup derived from corn, high-fructose corn syrup. In America at least, high-fructose corn syrup is a cheap substitute for “real” sugar because of government subsidies on corn and high import tariffs on foreign sugar. Also, fructose is sweeter than sucrose, so corporations cut costs by having to use less.

Now you know!

Sometimes I’m amazed how much random stuff comes out of my mouth when I’m walking around Nairobi. I’m terrible at conversational Swahili, but it seems like I always have a quip ready to throw back at someone who shouts at me on the street. Here are some I’ve used recently:

• “Jina langu si John” (my name ain’t John) to the guy who yells, “Johnny!” (I never understood why they call white guys “John”… I heard it might be related to the British troops stationed here. Maybe John is a common name for a white guy?)
• “Hakuna jua” (there’s no sun) to the guy who asks if I wanna buy some sunglasses on an overcast day.
• “Nimeshaziona” (I’ve already seen ‘em) or “Niko nazo kwa nyumba” (I got those in the house) to the guy selling DVDs.
• “Huyu si bibi, ni dada” (she ain’t my girlfriend, she’s my sister) to the guy who asks if I wanna buy roses for the girl I’m walking with.
• “Mimi si mtalii” (I ain’t a tourist) to the guy who says, “Jambo“
• “Si endi mbali” (I ain’t going far) or “Nachukua route 11” (I’m taking route 11… legs) to the guy asking if I want a taxi.

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I had the good fortune to get hit head on in a friend’s car the other day. We were driving down Church Road, right around the corner from my apartment. A car was approaching slowly but sloppily, and a bit into our lane. There wasn’t much we could do but just brace for impact. “Crap!” I now have a unique insight into the ingenuity of Kenyan car mechanics.

Kenyan mechanics work in “garages.” When you car breaks down or needs work, you take it to the garage. This is not the same concept as the garage that sits beside your suburban California house; the garage most Kenyan fundis (handy men) work in are completely outdoors! Notice it bears no semblance at all to the “garage” where your car sleeps at the end of the driveway.
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It’s a terrible feeling to get caught in a lie. Today I told a small fib, then was glad I hadn’t flat out lied when the lady ended up sort of calling my bluff.

I was in San Marcos with a few hours to kill in between meeting some friends, and decided to go walk around Fry’s Electronics. As I was playing with one of the fancy new computers a lady came and introduced herself to me. It was obvious from her introduction that she wanted something. I began to mentally prepare my “let her down easily” strategy, and then she fell right into my trap when she asked, “Are you from around here?” I told her that I live in Kenya, I’m a volunteer, and I’m just home visiting family briefly.
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I cracked up this morning when I heard on the news that San Diego Zoo’s “Wild Animal Park” is going to change its name to the San Diego Zoo “Safari Park.” It’s hilarious to me because in Swahili a “safari” is a journey; sure, driving around looking at animals is technically a journey, but really any old road trip qualifies (even if there are no lions). Hopefully they left all the annoying guys handing out safari pamphlets back in Nairobi!

I don’t know when the word “safari” entered the American lexicon, but the Beach Boys definitely went on a Surfin’ Safari in 1962. Americans are apparently good at integrating words from other languages into English, though. Off the top of my head, we have kindergarten from the Germans and smörgåsbord from the Swedes, and hakuna matata! You did know that’s Swahili too, right?

On a semi-related note, I just went on a surfin’ safari in Pacific Beach. The water was freezing and the waves were small and blown out, but I managed to get twenty minutes of good body surfing in before my body was numb and I was tired of floating around out there. I had to take a walk down the boardwalk to warm up afterwards. Brrr!