Swahili

Kenya

I’ve got a new zinger for my Swahili street lingo arsenal: tunachukua mathree (we’re taking a matatu)! In Swahili tatu means “three”, so a matatu in sheng is a “mathree.” This new response is way better than getting upset because, in addition to leaving everyone in the vicinity laughing, it establishes several things all in one go:

  • I’m not a tourist
  • I know sheng
  • I don’t want a taxi

I guess it’s a new tactic I’ve developed in the last few weeks, just in time for Randi’s visit. One thing that peeves me about being white in Nairobi is that everyone thinks you want a taxi. I’m pretty sure I’m a statistical out lier, but I really hate taking taxis. Unless it’s late at night or someone is dying, I’d rather take a matatu. Maybe I’ve turned over a new leaf, or maybe I’m just in a good mood because Randi is here; in any case, I think I’ve learned a valuable lesson.

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Kenya

Tactics for dealing with beggars range the ethical gamut. Certain kinds of people just fork over the cash at the first sight of a quivering lower lip. A handful of others like the silent treatment (easy but not immediately effective). In Bombay I noticed that Indians would actually hit street kids with rolled up newspapers — a bit hardcore, but immediately effective. Luckily, I’m white and I live in Kenya, so I have plenty of opportunities to try various methods almost daily! For example, I felt terrible after this exchange with an eight-year-old girl last week:

Beggar girl: “Uncle please, I’m hungry…”
Me: “Go to school”
Beggar girl: “Please buy for me some food”
Me: “Kwenda huko, uliza huyu. Hata mwafrika anapesa!” (Get out of here, go ask him. Even African people have money)
Beggar girl: “(mumbling)… enda nchi yenu” (go back to your country)
Me: “Mimi ni mkenya” (I’m Kenyan)

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Kenya

I saw something funny today — I see funny things most days actually, but I’ve been meaning to write about this one. According to the stickers on the window inside this matatu (minibus used for public transportation), not only is it driven well, it:

  • Does not carry excess passengers
  • Is operated by respectful, caring, and neat crew

Lucky me! But of course, who am I kidding? They can’t fool me: this matatu is dirty, slow, uncomfortable, and it is completely kama kawaida (as usual). Ok, it’s not hard to find a matatu obeying the watu 14 (14 people) law, but then you get whiplash because the driver thinks he’s qualifying for the Indy 500. Or, your driver is competent but the makanga (conductor) is rude and or over charges you. Let’s just be honest with each other: there is something wrong with every matatu in Kenya.

Waiting for a matatu in Nairobi
Waiting for a matatu in Nairobi

I deal with these guys every day. The other day I was waiting at the matatu stage nearest to my house (about 1.5 km) and a matutu going towards ILRI stopped to let off passengers. I was a bit far from where it had stopped so I started running to catch up. As I got closer the door dude told me, “Fasta fasta, wewe!” Excuse me? I’m already running! I just told him back, almost instinctively, “Usiniambie ‘fasta fasta,’ hakuna kitu kama hiyo. Nimekimbia, bwana (don’t tell me “fasta fasta,” there’s nothing such as that. I’ve run, man). I guess I’m a young whippersnapper so I can handle it, but it pisses me off because they do it to old ladies carrying babies and vegetables, etc.

Hiyo ni tabia mbaya lakini nimezoea (that is bad behavior but I am used to it)!