I was just riding the matatu (minibus used for public transport) to work when an mlevi (drunkard) got on the bus. As soon as he saw me he started shouting, “America!” and then something indistinguishable about Jesus. I don’t know if it was in English or Swahili because he was slurring. By now he had put his teddy bear in my lap — I know, what the hell? — and everyone on the bus was obviously staring at me. When I finally understood that he wanted me to say, “Amen” I just smiled and looked nervously around.

How can you out wit a charismatic drunk man with Jesus on his side? I admit I was at a loss for words… all I could come up with was, “I don’t say ‘Amen’.” I didn’t say it too loudly because I didn’t want to start a debate. I guess I shocked him but it didn’t matter because after a few seconds he went on shouting about America and Obama.