Kenya

I’ve got a new zinger for my Swahili street lingo arsenal: tunachukua mathree (we’re taking a matatu)! In Swahili tatu means “three”, so a matatu in sheng is a “mathree.” This new response is way better than getting upset because, in addition to leaving everyone in the vicinity laughing, it establishes several things all in one go:

  • I’m not a tourist
  • I know sheng
  • I don’t want a taxi

I guess it’s a new tactic I’ve developed in the last few weeks, just in time for Randi’s visit. One thing that peeves me about being white in Nairobi is that everyone thinks you want a taxi. I’m pretty sure I’m a statistical out lier, but I really hate taking taxis. Unless it’s late at night or someone is dying, I’d rather take a matatu. Maybe I’ve turned over a new leaf, or maybe I’m just in a good mood because Randi is here; in any case, I think I’ve learned a valuable lesson.

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Kenya

Tactics for dealing with beggars range the ethical gamut. Certain kinds of people just fork over the cash at the first sight of a quivering lower lip. A handful of others like the silent treatment (easy but not immediately effective). In Bombay I noticed that Indians would actually hit street kids with rolled up newspapers — a bit hardcore, but immediately effective. Luckily, I’m white and I live in Kenya, so I have plenty of opportunities to try various methods almost daily! For example, I felt terrible after this exchange with an eight-year-old girl last week:

Beggar girl: “Uncle please, I’m hungry…
Me: “Go to school
Beggar girl: “Please buy for me some food
Me: “Kwenda huko, uliza huyu. Hata mwafrika anapesa!” (Get out of here, go ask him. Even African people have money)
Beggar girl: “(mumbling)… enda nchi yenu” (go back to your country)
Me: “Mimi ni mkenya” (I’m Kenyan)

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