Year: 2009 | Page 4

Kenya

Gay Marriage in Kenya

There was a big huzzah in Kenya a few weeks ago when pictures circulated of two Kenyan men in the UK getting married. I got the e-mail from a colleague at work and had assumed it had made its way around ILRI, but then I saw it being actively discussed in several editions of print and online media. It’s safe to assume the e-mail made its way to every single office-working Kenyan in Nairobi now that I think about it. I don’t own a TV but it was probably even on the evening news.

The subject of the e-mail was “Dunia inaisha” (the world is ending), which is pretty hilarious. That’s like the Obama haters who said jihad will come to America if he is elected president. Now imagine my surprise when I was walking through Gikomba (the hawkers’ market) and saw this camouflage-colored hat with the words “Gay Marriage” written in pink text. Haha! I had just bought a pair of used Converse, a t-shirt, and a pair of shorts, when I came across this awesome hat. I snapped a picture of it real quick before the shop keeper saw me, but then I just had to ask him, “WTF? Will anyone buy this in Kenya?” Maybe he’s a supporter of gay marriage (in which case I should have bought the hat), or more likely, he just picked it out of a bin wherever it is that he gets his wares.

A “gay marriage” army hat makes about as much sense to me as American flags being made in China. By the way, extra points for anyone who noticed the old school San Diego Padres hat in the same picture.

Kenya

This Vehicle Is Driven Well

I saw something funny today — I see funny things most days actually, but I’ve been meaning to write about this one. According to the stickers on the window inside this matatu (minibus used for public transportation), not only is it driven well, it:

Does not carry excess passengers
Is operated by respectful, caring, and neat crew

Lucky me! But of course, who am I kidding? They can’t fool me: this matatu is dirty, slow, uncomfortable, and it is completely kama kawaida (as usual). Ok, it’s not hard to find a matatu obeying the watu 14 (14 people) law, but then you get whiplash because the driver thinks he’s qualifying for the Indy 500. Or, your driver is competent but the makanga (conductor) is rude and or over charges you. Let’s just be honest with each other: there is something wrong with every matatu in Kenya.

I deal with these guys every day. The other day I was waiting at the matatu stage nearest to my house (about 1.5 km) and a matutu going towards ILRI stopped to let off passengers. I was a bit far from where it had stopped so I started running to catch up. As I got closer the door dude told me, “Fasta fasta, wewe!” Excuse me? I’m already running! I just told him back, almost instinctively, “Usiniambie ‘fasta fasta,’ hakuna kitu kama hiyo. Nimekimbia, bwana (don’t tell me “fasta fasta,” there’s nothing such as that. I’ve run, man). I guess I’m a young whippersnapper so I can handle it, but it pisses me off because they do it to old ladies carrying babies and vegetables, etc.

Hiyo ni tabia mbaya lakini nimezoea (that is bad behavior but I am used to it)!

Kenya, Travel

Hakuna Hiatus

I haven’t been on hiatus, I’ve been on holiday! Actually I’ve been working a lot, but I did make it across the border this past weekend for a little rest and relaxation. One thing I realized during my 24-hour stay in Tanzania was that my Swahili is permanently Kenyan-ized. I’ve already accepted that I’m nowhere near fluent by Kenyan standards, but I’m a disaster by Tanzanian standards. You see, after their independence, Tanzania embraced Swahili as the national language in order to unite their country as a common people, no longer colonized and no longer a collection of tribes — they were Tanzanians now! Kenya chose both Swahili and English, and while people here do speak Swahili, it’s kinda a watered-down, English-ized version (“sheng”). Kenyans even make fun of Tanzanian Swahili because it’s a chore to speak correctly, it’s boring, and it even sounds funny because it’s so polite. And I know it’s terrible, but I do too.