No, I don’t want a f*cking taxi

I don’t want to go see the lions in Masai Mara. And while we’re at it, no, you can’t shine my sandals. I’ve said it before and I can’t reiterate it enough, being white in Nairobi is annoying. I don’t know what’s wrong with white people in Kenya, they’re either too rich or too lazy so they zip around in taxis. Well I’m not rich or lazy, so it annoys the hell out of me when I’m walking in Nairobi and taxi drivers relentlessly ask if I need a taxi. I’ve been good lately, but I know enough Swahili to be pretty rude to those guys.

I guess it varies with my mood. For instance, yesterday was Friday so I wore jeans to work and everyone was a bit relaxed. I was meeting my friend in Nairobi for coffee after work, so I was feeling good. I had just been laughing and enjoying the evening when some guy offered me a taxi. I simply told him, “Si endi mbali” ( “I’m not going far” ), and I guess he liked that because he responded, “Poa, asante sana, ndugu. Karibu.” ( “Cool, thanks alot, brother. You’re welcome” ). That’s how it’s supposed to be, and I always feel bad when I diss ‘em.

And you can’t blame them, it’s their livlihood. I figure that people can tell that I’m not a tourist or one of those white people by the way I walk around town, but it’s clearly obvious that’s not the case. I must have written about it one time, but the most hilarious thing is when you walk past a shoe shiner and he exitedly asks to shine your shoes. One time I was wearing sandals when a guy asked me, so I just laughed and pointed at my sandals. Pretty ridiculous, eh?

Anyways, kazi iendelee ( “work goes on” ) and Nairobi is struggling to get out of winter mode. Yesterday was freezing in Uthiru (where I work), a place which is normally known for being cold, but it’s unheard of this late into August. What the hell is happening to the world!?

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